Saturday, December 17, 2005

Re-animator

Yes, revivifying the dead is a delicate process. Too much quickening and the subject will experience acceleration sickness, a kind of hyperactive zombie dance that causes the flesh to literally fall off the skeletal system. Too little quickening and the zombie tends to shamble along, which is Ok if you're making some kind of sophomoric slasher flick, but it just won't do for my beloved Spirella.

Yessssss--that's just about right.

Now for the sealant...Don't miss any spots now....don't want leaks. It's so good to be working again, even without my sight. Donna Donna Donna Donna...lambs are easily led to slaughter.....dum-dee-dum-dee-dee-dum

OK. that should do it!

Example
Best to keep one of these on hand, as well.

Now for the live current, and....Pretso!

Awake my darling! The sleep of ages holds you in its sway no more. What is death to the Xister!

Spirella! Do you see what has become of your liege? You shall be my eyes, and together we shall rule the timestream!....Spirella? You guard the silence of the crypt. Answer me--I command it!

4 Comments:

Blogger Gyrobo said...

Hah! Reanimation doesn't work on Saturdays- or maybe you didn't count on that?!

I shall, one day, retake the Lower Blogosphere. Word on the street is Karl the Sorcerer knows Evil Bob Dole's one weakness...

And you're not the only one who knows the finer points of mind control.

6:18 PM  
Blogger Non-Xister said...

Curses!

That sounds like the mechanical servo-whirr of the robo-clown, Gyrobo. I thought the Anonymi were going to take care of him!

Just wait until I get my Scrying Spoon back! Those cannibal dwarves couldn't have gotten very far with it...

8:22 PM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated said...

Funny you should mention that. The reconnaiscance team we sent out to locate the remains of the Fakiegrind Agents happened to locate a rather shiny spoon, dangling from a chain.

We've relocated it to the Vault of Singings.

7:11 AM  
Blogger Non-Xister said...

Since the cannibal dwarves have apparently absconded with my magic Scrying Spoon, what you must have found is my auxiliary Spoon of Stirring.

That spoon has incredible powers to aid in the admixture of alchemical elements such as cream and sugar in the beverage know as coffee--er, what I mean is, you have found an absolutely useless and cursed untensil that will only bring you grief and sorrow.

You should return the item to its rightful owner and rid yourselves of the burden. Please mail to:

Xister, c/o The Timestream

Now, Awake!

1:27 PM  

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