Friday, December 09, 2005

So, We Meet at Last

Example

Welcome to Operation: Black Cheddar, soon to be the ultimate BANE of Fakiegrind's odious author, Flatlander, and his band of intolerably cheerful Fakie Agents.

I think that fans of Fakiegrind will find this site VERY interesting, as we proceed to de-bunk, de-mystify and deconstruct the web of lies and deception that Flatlander has been weaving for oh so very long, in an intense effort to deceive you, the discerning blog reader, as to his true nature and intentions.

Along with my minion, Maskatron, we have infiltrated the Fakiegrind blog empire, retrieving sensitive information that Flatlander never intended to let see the light of day--INFORMATION THAT COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

So, without further delay, here is the first installment of what we hope will be an edifying journey into Flatlander's hidden heart of darkness, and beyond....


FAKIEGRIND'S POSTS ARE WRITTEN BY UNDERFED MONKEYS!

Among the Top Secret files we procured from the Fakiegrind archives is this telling excerpt from Flatlander's personal journal:


Stardate 00774632, Captain's Log: Supplemental

The monkeys we use to write the Fakiegrind posts are threatening to rebel due to a lack of bananas. I had to cut back on rations due to an increase in the price of fruit. Darn things went up 4 cents a pound, and the increased cost of feeding the monkeys is cutting into my action figure budget. DAMMIT! How's a guy supposed to run a blog these days?



So that's the chilling tidbit we have for you today, intrepid readers. Be sure to return for more horrifying revelations that will make you think twice before checking in on that loathsome Fakiegrind page again.

Now stare into my halftone eyes. YOU ARE GETTING SLEEPY. YOU WILL FORGET YOU HAVE READ THIS AND YOU WILL SEND THE XISTER TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS IN UNMARKED, NON-SEQUENTIAL BILLS. WHEN YOU AWAKE YOU WILL BELIEVE YOURSELF TO BE A MARMOSET, SWINGING HAPPILY THROUGH THE RAINFOREST CANOPY. YOU WILL FEEL REFRESHED AND INVIGORATED, AND DECIDE THAT BRITNEY SPEARS IS YOUR NEW FAVOURITE SINGER.

Now, AWAKE!

7 Comments:

Blogger Gyrobo said...

Must... resist...

7:50 PM  
Blogger flatlander said...

You can't get away with this Xister!

When I notify the international blog community about your infraction of the Geneva Blogger's Privacy Protocols, they're going to shut you down!

But first I've got to finish listening to this rocking new Britney Spears album.

8:26 PM  
Blogger spirella said...

Excellent! Flatlander has seccumbed. His action figures will soon be ours!

12:56 PM  
Blogger Rick Anonymi said...

Finally... we, the Anonymi, have escaped the confines of the collapsed Sub-Blogosphere! Our anger is great... let us join you! Together, we will infiltrate your "Fakiegrind"- and then on to the Frozen Lower Blogosphere!

Crush Gyrobo! For Evil Bob Dole!

1:29 PM  
Blogger Non-Xister said...

Through the eldritch powers contained in my mystic Scrying Spoon, I foresaw that the Anonymi would escape their pan-dimensional exile and return to aid the Black Cheddar Consortium in wreaking vengance on Fakiegrind and that robotic nuisance, Gyrobo.

Victory will be ours!

3:18 PM  
Blogger flatlander said...

I think the following lyrics sum up the situation:

The line it is drawn, the curse it is cast...

Where I'm completely yours and you are mine
And it's gonna be exactly like in a movie
When we fall in love for the first time...

Hey ...what the!?! ...I think I've been hypnotized!!

6:05 PM  
Blogger Rick Anonymi said...

Bwa ha ha!

Soon the Word of Dole shall march on Roboshrub Inc.

7:21 PM  

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