Friday, January 27, 2006


So...the mind games begin. My ex-consort and one-time pupil, Spirella, is trying to fool me into believing that it is she who has hypnotized me--as if her powers (considerable as they are) could possibly penetrate my advanced psionic shielding!

An impressive ploy, my sweet, but you will not sway me from my path of vengeance that easily. You might have stranded me in the year 45780, and absconded in the time machine that I myself stole from those pathetic dupes at Fakiegrind, and you might be galavanting around the cosmos with that imbicilic cyborg assassin, Maskatron, but you shan't prevent me from building my own time machine out of materials I find at hand and hunting you and that bionic robot down, then twisting you minds with my Mental Devastator Ray until you are writhing at my feet like the cowardly traitors you are.

So then, on with the story.

My search for plastic cling-wrap with which to fashion a pair of temporal anomaly buffers lead me to this abandoned structure, deep within the heart of the urban wasteland in the city they call Stee-al-ton-adarh.


From the unearthly radiance of the area, I could tell that the entire place had been turned into cyber-jelly by the shadow zombies, and it could all blow sky-high at any moment. But it still seemed like my best bet for finding some cling wrap, so I pressed on.


What I found in the heart of the complex, in a deserted courtyard that looked as though it might have once been used for some manner of eldritch sacrifice--so was it decked out in strange runes of power--was an impressive a-temporal funnel-breach conduit clambering up into the fragmented heavens.


Whatever strange race had once utilized this space, they had left behind them a time/space destabilizer meant to ensure that nobody would follow their path through the dimensional breach into the alternate reality they had managed to construct or discover for themselves.


One couldn't help but be impressed by this feat of pan-dimensional architecture, and yet, I would have to destroy a good portion of it in order to accomplish my ends.


After neutralizing the destabilizer, I searched the area for what I knew must be present: the gate to an alternate reality. It took quite a while, even using the Divining Rod of Ashta'ag. At last, I found the portal, and, despite a rune of warding inscribed in its surface, pulled open the gate.


However, something went terribly wrong. There was a great commotion of wind and colour, as the very particles of the surrounding world seemingly swept themselves out from under my feet. I thought I would surely perish in the torrent of sub-atomic activity, but , through great mental exertion, I managed to hold my own. When the tempest had abated, what was left can only be described as the skeleton of reality. It is as if the substance of my surroundings had been sucked away, leaving only a single dimension of space, twisted in upon itself.


I wandered like a ghost or spectre through the transformed city. Clearly, I had crossed a threshold never meant for mortal tread.....yet again.


And yet, as I took in my strange new surroundings, a sudden realization curled my lip into a fiendish grin. I had gone out in search of plastic wrap, but what I had found was better than any time machine that I might possibly construct. What I had found was the key to transfiguring and controlling reality itself!


And so, Spirella, I will not need to hunt you down to restore my supremacy in the hierarchical and extremely competitive world of time-travelling hypnotists. You shall come to me, crawling on all fours and begging that I restore reality to its full three-and-a-half dimensions. And I shall laugh and do my little evil hypnotist's dance of glee to see you so reduced. And then I will consider what to do with that obsolete heap of 70s scrap-metal, Maskatron.

Yes, vengeance with be mine, and sweet.


Blogger Gyrobo said...

Excellent use of Photoshop's plastic wrap filter.

bet8.jpg looks like it would've taken a lot of time to go through all those little wires with the lasso tool... perhaps I might trick the mighty Xister into releasing classified hypnotist information regarding that... what am I saying? Xister is way, way too smart to fall into that trap.

2:53 PM  
Blogger Non-Xister said...

Photoshop! What are you talking about? I used a siezmic ripple through the sixth dimension to create those perception-field distortions!

But you are suddenly struck with the inexplicable desire to strut about town like a pigeon.


8:09 PM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated said...

Oh, so these "perception-field distortions" haven't made liberal use of the glass ripple, swirl and find edges tools?

Adobe Psytographic Shop. Pro? Perhaps. Regardless, I have a hankering for crumbled bread.

10:45 AM  

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