Monday, April 10, 2006

Endtime Insurance Sales Skyrocket

In another sign of impending doom, the futures market took a nosedive and sales of Armageddon insurance went through the roof. While the Endtime Adjuster has not been sighted in many, many weeks (it is believed he is adjusting the tables in a sub-saharan restaurant for tips), several of the marketing tactics used by the Endtime Agents have been traced back to the venerable Adjuster. Fakie Agents were unable to comment on the sudden appearance of the Edtime Agents, despite the fact that both groups are Agents.

An international effort to locate the Adjuster for his account of the Agentry has failed, due to his time-shifting abilities. One minute he's in Cancun, Mexico enjoying a brisk Spring swim, the next he's in Nepal in 1911 teaching the locals how to skydive.

As the Armada Automata prepares to strike on Roboshrub headquarters, one can only paranoidly imagine a link between the rise of the Endtime Agents and OneStar. Is there a link? I must report all this to King Evil Robo-Bob Dole, as I serve him in a sub-official capacity. Ever since my ethereal body was abandoned and I was forced to reside within the shell of an old robot, I've wondered what the Reckoning would feel like. Now, we, the Anonymi, may get that chance. Long live Evil Robo-Bob Dole! Long may he reign!


Blogger Bathroom Hippo said...

Methinks Adjuster tripped on a Spirella landmine.

3:15 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

That's the leading theory.

9:05 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo said...

Elephant dung is a close second.

11:34 AM  
Blogger The Taker of Gist said...

Close? You can smell the aroma!

12:43 PM  
Blogger Rick Anonymi said...

Operation: Black Cheddar is now under the protection of the Endtime Secret Agent Squad!

12:34 PM  

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